Thursday, July 16, 2009

A Funny Thing Happened to Me...

on the way to blog yesterday...
People - well, okay, my Mother in particular; have always made claims that my home is a zoo.
Over the years, I've had skunks, possums, squirrels, birds, rabbits, dogs, cats, ferrets, rats, mice, cows, goats, chickens and horses... feel like I am forgetting something...
Oh yeah... and Oliver... a 3 foot long green snake that I forgot to keep an eye on and who... hmm...
let's just say my Mom spent the better part of 2 years opening drawers and cupboards very carefully. *grin*

So it should really have come as no surprise (to me or anyone who knows me) when I walked out back on yesterday to have a ciggie I would be the one to catch a glimpse of brown fur in the trees behind my house.

Naturally, being the fearless nature enthusiast... I went in for a closer look...

I rubbed my eyes and tried to adjust to the sunshine and looked again...

Dude!! There is a flippin' monkey in my tree!

Now, not having any experience with lions, and tigers and bears (oh my, that's another story huh?) ... and the closest circus training I've had is trying to wrangle 2 divas out the door and onto a waiting bus, 5 minutes after waking them ...
... it should be easy to see why having a chimpanzee in your backyard can be quite exciting... and perhaps even overwhelming..

I did what any woman over the age of 25 would do...
I screamed like a schoolgirl and ran for the house (and the safety of 2 inch sliding glass door)!!

I must have been quite the sight... that's all I can say.
A blur of smoke, hot pink and flesh was probably all this poor little guy witnessed. Enough to frighten even the fiercest of beasts.

At first, the little chimp, in a terrified frenzy, scampered higher into the tree to gain valuable vantage (and probably to decide if I was dangerous as well as crazy). Then, apparently after gauging that I was more intimidated by him than he of me... he hopped out of the tree and through the brush.


and closer...

and closer still...


Now friends, I am not ashamed to admit... my heart was racing... my palms were sweaty and my head was reeling!
I couldn't have really just seen what I thought I saw. Must be the menthols making my head light. (or, since it was early afternoon, I mixed up my afternoon ice-coffee with my evening cocktail and hadn't noticed... nah... couldn't have been that!)
Was there really a chimp in my backyard? In the "city"? by the ocean?


I mustered up all my strength (and courage) and slid the backdoor open about an inch..

Yup... only he was no longer in the trees.. or in the brush on the outskirts of my backyard..
he was now in my pumpkin patch (okay, so it's not a patch so much as a plant or two... but it was mere inches from my backdoor... and from me!)

I called for the dog..
nuttin.. (well, I suppose in the dog's defense.. it was probably more of a whisper than an actual call)


I "psst psst" for the cat..
he just rolled his eyes at me with that "what? deal with your own delusions - I'm busy" and went back to sleep...

I was on my own..
and I would have been fine...
IF he hadn't done what he was about to do...


he turned right to me.. looked at me ... winked... and then preceded to lecture me about the dangers of smoking.. then, in one of those Cat In The Hat Returns type moments, he turned tail and made a beeline for the brush line.
I haven't opened the slider since.


My deepest apologies to Paola of Delicious Crochet - I thought I had posted a link on the photos, but I just found an eMail asking me where to obtain this pattern. This pattern is her Chuck the Monkey pattern and you can purchase it either at her Delicious Crochet Website or from her Etsy Website. Paola has MANY wonderful crochet patterns for you to consider, not just the ones featured on my blog - sign up for her newsletter and get eMail notifications when she releases new ones!

20 comments:

Karen said...

LOL!!!!! :D)

B said...

Great job!!! Perfectly done!

Krissy said...

OMG!!! ROFL

Debi said...

LOLOLOL!! and how cute!!!!!!!!!

Laura said...

okah, I am in tears over here!
OMG TOOO FUNNY GIRL!!
LOL
LMAO
LMFAO!

You did an excellent job and I am glad to see the old Katt back!

Keep up the wonderful stuff - I love it!

Ann said...

wow....suuuuuuper!!
I want one toooooo!!!

Ric said...

Okay! Seriously.. this is just too cute for words!!!
I love it!
You did a fantastic job on him and what a great story!!
Your kids must love all the crochet animals and the storytime to go with!!

vicke said...

oh my!!!!!!!!!!!!
soon I think.it is time for you write a book.
you can really tell a story smile

Shirley said...

If not a book , then at least a newspaper column!!!

I love your stories!

Debbie said...

Love your stories!!!! LOL and the monkey is quite cute too!

Cindy said...

I don't usually write comments, but this was really cute! I love the whole thing from the story to the cute little monkey!
Thanks for the laugh tonight it was needed!

Anonymous said...

lol this is so cool i will have to watch your blog for more funny sotries

Gram said...

LOL. I love it. I love your stores....the monkey is adorable !!

Evelyn said...

thank you for a very, very good laugh ! love the story and the monkey !

Sandy said...

LOL, thanks for the laugh. You started my morning off in style.

Brianna said...

Okay seriously U R just NUTZ! Glad 2 KNO U~!

Howie said...

I love that pesky health-warning monkey! He lectured me about cholesterol levels once, when I was eating some chips in the backyard.

Very charming! I especially love your first photo with the sun through the leaves.

BeyondStiches said...

I love the story and the monkey! Very creative!

Ida´s kreativa said...

I just LOVE LOVE LOVE him! Have to get the pattern, and i love your dog from her pattern too, he has so cute eyes :) /Ida, big fan from sweden :P

Goth said...

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE the monkey! LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE even MORE the story!!!! Girl, submit stories to reader's digest or one of the crochet mags!!! You're awesome!

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