So, some have been wondering what has been going on with me - and this is a post I was reluctant to make... I am an incredibly private person and do not wish to air my business online.
That being said, when I left "Mr Doodle" several years ago after nearly 26 years together, I could not have imagined the roller coaster ride my life would take. I quite literally had to start over with nothing - a small backpack full of clothes, some photos and of course, my crochet hooks.
I began working and started to reclaim some of my independence, paying off bills that the relationship had left me with and had begun to emerge from my cocoon shield ... I was beginning to feel pretty good about myself and my new life. I had lived more in the past year than I had in the last 20.
Then, in March, I found a lump in my breast.
I did what most people would do - went to the general practitioner, had the mamogram, did the whole biopsy thing (which was more to appease others than myself... I already knew.. )
Then the phonecall that made it official. I had been diagnosed with Breast Cancer - very matter-of-factly, by a cold voice on the other end of the line. Well, okay then...
Sadly, cancer has not been a foreign word to me and I had decided that I would do nothing - I would just give up and enjoy whatever time I had left. I was not going to be sick in some bed due to chemotherapy poisoning and waste whatever time was left.
But, I did make a call on the next day to find out if I could just have the lump removed and move along my merry way. It was at that meeting with the Radiation Oncologist that I found out not only did I have Breast Cancer, I have a very RARE, extremely aggressive form of Breast Cancer. One that affects only about 5% of Breast Cancer patients: Triple Negative Breast Cancer with a Metaplastic subtype. When I do a thing - I am extreme about it, I guess.
But REAL friends have a way of showing you the potential for a better future and not wanting to give up on you - even when you've given up on yourself. One in particular, who has been with me for almost 20 yrs now - you know her: Erin of Erin's Toy Store/Mini Mons - admitted, she was just too selfish to want to lose her friend.
In addition to Erin and her family, I have been surrounded by people who are more supportive and nurturing than I could have ever thought possible. Not the lies and gaslighting that I had grown used to, but genuine caring and concern. So I am fighting my cancer and not giving into it.
So there it is - that is what has been going on...
An emotional roller coaster of self doubt, lack of self worth and loss of interests - coupled with depression, fatique and just overall feeling run down.
The next year will be rough, but as it seems I will have time on my hands (surgery - which is still sometime away is very specific on limitations)... I hope to bring more crochet goodies to you - no matter what happens with my treatment, a piece of me will always be here for you, with a smile and hopefully inspiration.
Speaking of which, if you have read this far - reach out to me via eMail or Rav - give me time, and I will gift you the Cancer Awareness Bear I made years ago to continue spreading awareness. Check those Boobies often ladies and get your yearly mamograms!!!
XOXOX
~K
✦⋆✦⋆✦⋆✦⋆✦⋆✦⋆✦⋆✦⋆✦⋆✦⋆✦⋆✦⋆✦⋆✦⋆✦⋆✦⋆✦⋆✦⋆✦⋆✦⋆✦⋆✦⋆✦
All patterns are sold in good faith. Every effort has been made to ensure that all instructions are accurate and complete. FiberDoodlesbyK4TT cannot, however, be responsible for human error or variations in individual work.
All patterns released from HookNHand/FiberDoodlesbyK4TT are protected under Federal copyright laws. Reproduction/distribution, in part or in whole, is strictly prohibited unless specifically authorized. This includes, but is not limited to, any form of reproduction or distribution on or through the Internet, including posting, scanning, "Crochet-A-Longs" and/or eMail transmission.