Thursday, March 19, 2009

An Evening in the Life / Previous working title: "24HRS: A Day in the Life"

I'm very boring, but for some reason, some seem to find the stale tediousness of a day in my life amusingly entertaining... so...
Grab your coffee, your chocolate bon-bons, a cookie (or twelve) and a wet-nap...
(for whatever might end up on your computer screen from either throwing the coffee or laughing at the mundane banality of my day) ... and if you fall asleep at the keys.. you can't blame me.. I fell asleep twice writing it!

3:05 p.m. The people arrive home off the school bus - one is annoyed by something that someone has either said or done in the 5-10 minutes she been on the bus; the other excited about her impending field trip to "the opera" tomorrow.

3:08 p.m. Break up fight between the people - restoring order.

3:09 p.m. Remove the youngest child from the oldest' bedroom - restoring order yet again.

3:10 p.m. Forget about restoring order as the people are now both together again fighting in the youngest' bedroom.

3:15 p.m. Abandon the serenity of my bedroom and head for the quiet sanctuary of the kitchen on the 1st floor. Begin to do left-over dishes in sink.

3:16 p.m. The people continue arguing into my kitchen sanctuary. I do what any Italian mother would do under such circumstances. I offer the people a snack.

3:25 p.m. Have daughter put on dress shoes and get dress she will be wearing to the opera tomorrow. Shoes no longer fit. Daughter decides that the dress isn't "opera enough".

3:26 p.m. Call Hubby to let him know we need to go to the mall to get new shoes and new dress for daughter. Get attitude for not getting shoes while at the mall on yesterday. Feel like a failure as a Mom because I thought the opera was NEXT Thursday.

3:45 p.m. Hubby arrives, still whining/complaining about the return trip to the Mall. Yell for jackets/shoes/DS and out to the car (before Hubby has a chance to get out of the vehicle, light cigarette and finish cigarette.) Make eye-contact with Hubby... sense annoyance. Try to make small talk - get the cold shoulder.

3:49 p.m. Drive to the Mall. Listen to several different conversation topics. Complaints about wasting gas, morons in traffic, needing stars, missing stars, stealing stars, the mall, having to return to the mall, the opera, not being able to go to the opera, not caring that we can't go to the opera, how stupid the opera is, annoying co-workers, and annoying/loud co-workers who will now have to be worked with in the next 24 hours. (pick which of the people had which topic for bonus points) Begin day-dreaming about the DD kiosk in the Mall and an Ice Coffee. Realize that there can never be enough coffee in my life.

4:10 p.m. Arrive at mall. Circle parking lot looking for optimal vantage entrance to Sears, Macy's and JC Pennys.

4:12 p.m. Still circling mall. The people begin to complain about driving in circles.

4:14 p.m. Hubby finally parks the car. Hubby complains that I forgot to grab my cell phone off the kitchen table and now he will have to search for me (as if!) once he is done. Daughter and I make a break for it and enter the Sears department store - head for the children's section. Notice that all the dresses are pink, white, yellow and green (or some variation of those colors for Easter) Search the Clearance rack for a 'black and white formal dress' suitable for opera and meeting child's "Mr. Blackwell" eye.

4:20 p.m. Leave Sears empty handed. Stop by GameStop to let Hubby know we are going to Macys (yeah, like it's any surprise that THAT is where he'd be). Walk by dress in window of Victoria Secrets that child says would be perfect for her. Passer-by laughs.

4:25 p.m. Leave Macy's heading to JCPenny's.

4:45 p.m. Hooorayyy!! We finally find a dress that child is ecstatic about and Mom's pocket book can live with. Look for shoes - no luck. Child pays for dress and pockets change ($8.00) and we leave the Penny's to head to PayLessShoes for dress shoes.

4:46 p.m. Return to cashier counter at JCPennys. Opera child forgot the dress. Still refuses to relinquish change from purchase.

4:48 p.m. Passing GameStop on way to PayLessShoes, let Hubby know we've got the dress. Pick up attitudinal child who is now 'mad' because "Daddy didn't buy her a new video game, her sister has a new dress - and she has gotten nothing"

5:01 p.m. Find shoes in PayLess for opera child. Drop opera child and attitudinal brat off with Hubby and retreat to DD to get Iced Coffee and refueling.

5:03 p.m. Hubby is at the Auntie Annes counter buying attitudinal brat (who is now in tears like a child who's just got the beating of her life) a hotdog.

5:10 p.m. Attitudinal brat and I return to Sears to pick out 'pretty pink dress-up dress for playtime". Realize I am such a sucker for tears.

5:20 p.m. FINALLY heading home. $45.00 over budget for the month, but with HaPpY PeOpLe.

6:00 p.m. Home. Ask the people to begin their homework. Check email. Check Ravelry. Check Blog. Decide I have no life.

6:15 p.m. Announce that all homework is to be done NOW! Go to the kitchen to make Chicken Noodle Soup. Attend to the sick kids who've now mysteriously regained the aggravating 'hack' that sent one home early from school and made me question if sending them to school in the first place should have even been an option.

6:25 p.m. Dish out 2 bowls of chicken noodle soup, several saltine crackers and a small glass of Sprite. Realize that I have yet to eat anything today. Return to the kitchen to make myself something to eat, feed the dog instead.

7:00 p.m. Turn off attitudinal brat's television for the 5th time and remind her that homework needs to be done BEFORE the people can watch television.

7:45 p.m. 15 minute warning of impending bedtime. Wash faces, hands, behind ears, brush teeth and put on nightgowns. Dose with Children's Nyquil so their night time-sneezing-coughing-stuffy head-fever is under control and they-can-rest. Pray it knocks them out quickly so Mommy can get some hooking done.

8:00 p.m. Bedtime for the people. "5 more minutes Mommy?"

8:15 p.m. Catch the people sneaking DS in bed. Threaten to take DS away if caught again.

8:17 p.m. DS' taken away. The people revolt and throw items (pillows, stuffed animals, etc) at door/me.

8:19 p.m. "need to potty" child #1

8:22 p.m. "need to potty" child #2

8:25 p.m. "forgot to flush" child #2

8:26 p.m. "forgot to wash my hands" child #1

8:35 p.m. "can we have a water?"

8:36 p.m. Return with water. Threaten the people of loss of liberty and/or life if I hear them again. Dog doing 'PeePee Dance'.

8:37 p.m. Take dog outside. Fend off neighbor's dog who is at front door until he notices family beast outside. Neighbor's dog begins to chase family beast around backyard. No peeing getting done. Holler at neighbor to remove dog from property so I could attend to sick kids.

8:59 p.m. Dog finally finishes MARKING FRENZY (peeing every 2 ft). Realize that it's Wednesday and that I'm gonna miss tonight's new episode of Ghost Hunters.

9:00 p.m. Fold laundry that's been avoided all day. Transfer wash to dryer, start all over with new pile that's appeared in previously empty basket.

9:15 p.m. Dinner dishes. Realize once again that I've not eaten today. Make a fresh pot of coffee. Ponder over a Boston Market frozen entree or PB&J for dinner.

9:20 p.m. Check in on the people again, attitudinal brat finally asleep. Reclaim DS from opera child, threatened again with losses. HIDE DS in bedroom closet under heavy winter sweaters. Notice child is standing at doorway watching - chase child away. RE-HIDE DS

9:30 p.m. Ignore ringing cell phone.

9:32 p.m. Ignore ringing house phone. I know that both are my girlfriend (who just got home, tried to park in her USUAL spot, but had to park 2 spaces away) and wants to whine about the parking issues in the neighborhood.

9:30 p.m. Sit down to do some hooking. Hear child up and about - threaten child again. Doze off in middle of designing. Wake dazed, confused and lost track of count, rip out 2 rows of stitches.

9:32 p.m. Realize that coffee should be cool enough to add ice cubes to for yet another Iced Coffee and that I've still yet to eat today. Pop a snack-size Hershey's Chocolate bar and race downstairs to get the 5th Iced Coffee of the day.
Appreciate that it's not going to do much to help me stay awake.

10:01 p.m. Return to bedroom to hook, stomach growls - I still haven't made food. NCIS is on television, decide there's always tomorrow for food (and hooking) turn off lights and watch NCIS.

10:05 p.m. Turn lights back on - NCIS is a repeat. Grab yarn and hooks.

BoReD yet??


Goth said...

You have such a way with words!! My life is full of dull chaos and it'd be dull if I wrote it out, but you should definately write stuff like this down and send it to a publisher!!! You let me know that, as tedious as my days seem, I'm so not alone!!

Leslie said...

ROFL- You definitely have a way with words! The new Erma Bombeck :) Wait until Opera child finds out Opera is not as exciting as it seems. I hope for the children's sake (and the teacher's) that it was/will be in English.
The coffee & Cigs can sure make you forget to eat- except for chocolate-of course :)
So what are you going to do as of April first when price on cigs go up .62 a pack??? Hint on what you could do- become the next Erma Bombeck and you will be able to still afford them- writers make lots of money :)
Hugs and Big Thanks yous for the laughs

Wendy said...

What can I say, you crack me up, lol.

Corla said...

Love the way you write and like Leslie says Erma Bombeck the second yet more updated. Thanks for the laughs again and making my day. Our cigs I think are going up a buck or two. Sure hope you find time to eat and rest up.

K4TT said...

I updated with a photos of "The People"..
this was actually YESTERDAY'S DAY... it got on so long.. I cut it short..
I didn't actually go to sleep last night until 3am this morning..

Leslie said...

The dress and shoes are so pretty and your daughter is beautiful!!!

Gramzie said...

I love your boring days, you always have that special way with words. Thanks for the giggles and the little looks adorable in her opera outfit...So cute. Love that smile..
Thanks for the entertainment, you made my evening...

Marj said...

yep me too, i love your days hunni, we all have them though so is there hope we can just sit and hook one day prolly not but boy life sure isn't dull.LOL

Rose said...

Don't know how you do it- and still find time to stitch. I got tired and hungry just reading this! Go eat something!

Corla said...

Love the dress and isn't she just glowing in it. Hope she likes the Opera. I never could get into Opera.

Pat said...

oh my goodness...I totally understand. Have Been there and more. My girls are now 41 and is married and has two children (boys) 4 and 2...I can't wait to see how she handles Life as they get more mature and teen aged.
Thank you for sharing.. I am so sorry to hear about the schools response to the dress. They should have known better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love it. thank care. and by the way..I love NCIS new program and I watch all the repeats over and over.

Good for you for turn off the TV and hooking. I have to watch.. You think I would go to the Family room instead of bedroom. LOL
Hugs to you

Sandy said...

what a cutie, love the dress.

Karen said...

Loved it :D) We have sooo much in common here!! Hey somewhere in there you need to become a writer! Squeeeezing some more time out of the day LOL
I'll say again ....Loved how you word things!
Still laughing because sounds sooooooooo like my days with my two very INDEPENDENT Teen and Tween Oh and let's not leave out our very " helpful" Hubbys!

Adorable dress on an adorable girl :)

Post a Comment

Hi and thank you for leaving your thoughts on Fiber Doodles!