I'm very boring, but for some reason, some seem to find the stale tediousness of a day in my life amusingly entertaining... so...
Grab your coffee, your chocolate bon-bons, a cookie (or twelve) and a wet-nap...
(for whatever might end up on your computer screen from either throwing the coffee or laughing at the mundane banality of my day) ... and if you fall asleep at the keys.. you can't blame me.. I fell asleep twice writing it!
3:05 p.m. 'The People' arrive home off the school bus - one is annoyed by something that someone has either said or done in the 5-10 minutes she been on the bus; the other excited about her impending field trip to "the opera" tomorrow.
3:08 p.m. Break up fight between 'The People' (no, I have no idea what they were fighting about, probably whatever someone had done or said on the bus) - restoring order.
3:09 p.m. Remove the youngest child from the oldest' bedroom after the former had resumed the argument with the latter - restoring order yet again.
3:10 p.m. Give up on restoring order as 'The People' are now both together, again, resuming the argument, but now in the youngest's bedroom. It's destined to be...
3:15 p.m. Abandon the serenity of my own bedroom and head for the quiet sanctuary of the kitchen on the 1st floor. Begin to do left-over dishes in sink.
3:16 p.m. 'The People' continue arguing into my kitchen sanctuary. I do what any Italian mother would do under such circumstances. I offer 'The People' food.
3:25 p.m. Have eldest child put on dress shoes and get dress she will be wearing to the opera tomorrow. Shoes no longer fit. Eldest child now decides that the dress isn't "opera enough". She is now, Opera Child...
3:26 p.m. Call Hubby to let him know we need to go to the mall to get new shoes and new dress for the Opera Child. Get attitude for not getting shoes while at the mall on the previous day. Feel like a failure as a Mom because I thought the opera was NEXT Thursday.
3:45 p.m. Hubby arrives, still whining/complaining about the return trip to the Mall. Yell for jackets/shoes/DS and out to the car (before Hubby has a chance to get out of the vehicle, light cigarette and find more reasons to complain.) Make eye-contact with Hubby... sense annoyance. Try to make small talk - get the cold shoulder. Give up and sit in silence.
3:49 p.m. Drive to the Mall. Listen to several different conversation topics. Complaints about wasting gas, morons in traffic, needing stars, missing stars, stealing stars, the mall, having to return to the mall, the opera, not being able to go to the opera, not caring that we can't go to the opera, how stupid the opera is, annoying co-workers, and annoying/loud co-workers who will now have to be worked with in the next 24 hours. (pick which of the people had which topic for bonus points) Begin day-dreaming about the DD kiosk in the Mall and an Ice Coffee. Realize that there can never be enough coffee in my life.
4:10 p.m. Arrive at mall. Circle parking lot looking for optimal vantage entrance to Sears, Macy's and JC Pennys. There is none...
4:12 p.m. Still circling mall. The people begin to complain about driving in circles.
4:14 p.m. Hubby finally parks the car. Hubby complains that I forgot to grab my cell phone off the kitchen table and now he will have to search for me (as if!) once he is done. Opera Child and I make a break for it and enter the Sears department store - head for the children's section. Notice that all the dresses are pink, white, yellow and green (or some variation of those colors for Easter) Search the Clearance rack for a 'black and white formal dress' suitable for opera as well as meeting my child's "Mr. Blackwell" fashion sense.
4:20 p.m. Leave Sears empty handed. Stop by GameStop to let Hubby know we are going to Macys (yeah, like it's any surprise that THAT is where he'd be). Walk by dress in window of Victoria Secrets that Opera Child says would be perfect for her. Passer-by laughs.
4:25 p.m. Leave Macy's, again empty handed heading to JCPenny's. Not bothering to stop by GameStop again... yes, that is where he still is.
4:45 p.m. Hooorayyy!! We finally find a dress that Opera Child is ecstatic about and Mom's pocket book can live with. Look for shoes - no luck. Opera Child pays for dress and pockets change ($8.00) and we leave the Penny's to head to PayLessShoes for dress shoes.
4:46 p.m. Return to cashier counter at JCPennys. Opera Child forgot the dress too intent on pocketing the 8 bucks! Still refuses to relinquish change from purchase.
4:48 p.m. Passing GameStop on way to PayLessShoes, let Hubby know we've got the dress (See, told ya he'd still be there). Pick up Attitudinal Brat who is now 'mad' because "Daddy didn't buy her a new video game, her sister has a new dress - and she has nothing"
5:01 p.m. Find shoes in PayLess for Opera Child. Drop Opera Child and Attitudinal Brat off with Hubby and retreat to DD to get Iced Coffee and refueling.
5:03 p.m. Hubby is now at the Auntie Annes counter buying Attitudinal Brat (who is now in tears like a child who's just got the beating of her life) a hotdog.
5:10 p.m. Attitudinal Brat and I return to Sears to pick out 'pretty pink dress-up dress for playtime". Realize I am such a sucker for tears and way too eager to not have to deal with a "mini-me" for the rest of the night.
5:20 p.m. FINALLY heading home. $45.00 over budget for the month, but with HaPpY PeOpLe.
6:00 p.m. Home. Ask The People to begin their homework. Check email. Check Ravelry. Check Blog. Decide I have no life, but at least there is no issues online needing attention. 6:15 p.m. Announce that all homework is to be done NOW! Go to the kitchen to make Chicken Noodle Soup. Attend to the sick kids who've now mysteriously regained the aggravating 'hack' that sent one home early from school the day before and made me question if sending them to school that morning, should have even been an option.
6:25 p.m. Dish out 2 bowls of chicken noodle soup, several saltine crackers and 2 small glasses of Sprite. Realize that I have yet to eat anything today. Return to the kitchen to make myself something to eat, feed the dog instead.
7:00 p.m. Turn off youngest child's television for the 5th time and remind her that homework needs to be done BEFORE she can watch television. She give ME 'the look'.... resist urge to react on 'the look'...
7:45 p.m. 15 minute warning of impending bedtime. Wash faces, hands, behind ears, brush teeth and put on nightgowns. Dose with Children's Nyquil so their night time-sneezing-coughing-stuffy head-fever is under control and they-can-rest. Pray it knocks them out quickly so Mommy can get some "me time".
8:00 p.m. Bedtime for the people. "5 more minutes Mommy?"
8:15 p.m. Catch the eldest child sneaking Nintendo DS time in bed. Threaten to take DS away if caught again.
8:17 p.m. DS taken away. Eldest child revolts - throws items (pillows, stuffed animals, etc) at door/me. Threaten child she will never see her DS again... tantrum wanes.
8:19 p.m. "need to potty" child #1
8:22 p.m. "need to potty" child #2
8:25 p.m. "forgot to flush" child #2
8:26 p.m. "forgot to wash my hands" child #1
8:35 p.m. "can I have a water?" (almost in stereo)
8:36 p.m. Return with water. Threaten both children with loss of liberty and/or possibly life, if I hear them again. Dog doing 'PeePee Dance'.
8:37 p.m. Take dog outside. Notice neighbor's dog who is at front door until he notices family beast outside. Fend off neighbor's dog. Neighbor's dog begins to chase family beast around backyard. No peeing getting done. Hollering to neighbor to remove dog from property so family beast can pee and I can get back to sick kids.
8:59 p.m. Family beast finally finishes MARKING FRENZY (peeing every 2 ft). Realize that it's Wednesday and that I'm gonna miss tonight's new episode of Ghost Hunters.
9:00 p.m. Fold laundry that's been avoided all day. Transfer wash to dryer, start all over with new pile that's appeared in previously empty basket.
9:15 p.m. Dinner dishes. Realize once again that I've not eaten today. Make a fresh pot of coffee. Ponder over a Boston Market frozen entrée or PB&J for dinner.
9:20 p.m. Check in on The People again, youngest child finally asleep. Reclaim DS from eldest child once again, threatened again with losses. HIDE DS in bedroom closet under heavy winter sweaters. Notice child is standing at doorway watching - chase child away. RE-HIDE DS
9:30 p.m. Ignore ringing cell phone.
9:32 p.m. Ignore ringing house phone. I know that both are my girlfriend (who just got home, tried to park in her USUAL spot, but had to park 2 spaces away) who wants to complain about the parking issues in the neighborhood.
9:30 p.m. Sit down to do some hooking. Hear child up and about - threaten child again. Doze off in middle of designing. Wake dazed, confused and lost track of count, rip out 2 rows of stitches.
9:32 p.m. Realize that coffee should be cool enough to add ice cubes to for yet another Iced Coffee and that I've still yet to eat today. Pop a snack-size Hershey's Chocolate Bar in my face and race downstairs to get the 5th Iced Coffee of the day. Appreciate the fact that it's really not going to do much to help me stay awake.
10:01 p.m. Return to bedroom to hook, stomach growls - I still haven't made food. NCIS is on television, decide there's always tomorrow for food (and hooking) turn off lights and watch NCIS.
10:05 p.m. Turn lights back on - NCIS is a repeat. Grab yarn and hooks.
BoReD yet??
lol
And yes, this is a "typical day"... if it's not a run to Walmart, it's an unfinished project that needs doing.. if it's not one thing, it's another...
and I am just trying to figure out...
HOW I AM STILL GAINING WEIGHT!?
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