It's Saturday, Nov 5th 2022 at 2 o'clock in the afternoon... I've just posted to the FDbyK4TT Facebook Page for the first time in nearly 2 years.. but I am not sure when I will actually publish this particular blog entry...
Sooo... what the heck is up with Facebook???
This is obnoxious!!! As someone with ADHD, OCD and a few other visually oriented quirks... this is just a visual nightmare.
I have always pretty much hated Facebook... which is a large part of the reason I had decide to delete the page (Don't ask.. I click 'delete' 2 years ago... but recently when a designing sister.. you know her, Erin of Erin's Toy Store, needed some help with her storefronts .. I used a computer to log in and help her - and low and behold - not only is my page still there, but it's live again.... really?) but.. this new "META Interface" is .. annoyingly obnoxious.. and I can't figure out how to just make it stop!!
So basically Facebook will only be used as an "updater"....
I will still be primarily using this blog to communicate with fellow doodlers (since this blog keeps me more isolated) - but instead of sending out a few thousand eMails to let my fellow doodlers know something, I will just post an entry on the Facebooks (In addition to the posting of photos to Insta, Ravelry, etc.) and linking to where the information can be found.
So that's how we're going to do that one... it allows me to avoid the toxicity and drama of the social medias (which is harmful, both mentally as well as to my creative processes) - but still allows my friends to know there's something new to tell you about - hope that works for you as well!
If you'd prefer an eMail sent directly to your inbox - please just shoot a message to fiberdoodles@gmail.com and let me know.
A few have gotten really excited thinking I am back... No, I am not, not really.. much like John - my 'return' was a hand forced sort of deal.
I've got quite a few years worth of skin in the game - my daughter is a newbie in the field... and I'd really like to leave her some sort of 'legacy'.. or at the very least.. a great source of relaxation & entertainment.
So originally, I began to become a little more 'active' in posting to help her as well as just make what I already had available .. more user friendly (especially this blog)...
but I have to admit - I do have my moments.... like this one.
At this very momement, I am thinking about all the directions I would like to head in the coming year(s) - but tomorrow... tomorrow, I could be just as 'done with designing & crocheting' as I was on yesterday - no inspiration, no desire.. no love of fiber for fiber's sake.. that is the nature of 'the beast'.
Admittidly, the intial flood of "miss you" & "you're back" is very self-eteem boosting.. but then reality sets in and I remember some of the dark things about being "back" online ...
so right now, it's a "I MIGHT be back...in 2023"!
Okay, so if you're not back.. what's up with the new patterns??
Well you see, years ago, when I started to have computer (Windows - because Windows sucks!!) issues - and after I had lost quite a few PIPs (patterns in progress) - I took to writing them in on my blog (in draft form/so they are not viewable).
Quite a few were actually "done" but I wanted to take better photographs.. or I didn't like something about the finished item; and in a few cases, were meant to be released as a "set", but only a small part of the set was complete... it could be any one of one hundred different little Katt quirky reasons, that most people would just look a me harshly and say "really?!"
When I stopped crocheting and lost my mojo, I was just going to hand over everything to my girls.
But... one of the girls would rather 'draw design' than use a hook and the other - who started off strong with the hooking during the pandemic, has .. well, to be blunt - lost a lot of the original enthusiasm she initially had.
It is really hard when you are just starting out.. sales & engagement really encourage a fledgling's creativity as well as desire; but when you put out a bunch of material and get little interest (hearts, comments, etc) - one tends to want to just move on, especially when you are young and have more energy than patience - and that's where she is now.
So, all these drafts aren't doing anyone any good just taking up space on google's servers.. so I decided to publish them for doodlers to have some fun with and hopefully garnish some views of her HookNHand patterns.So, it's really that simple. Sorry if that disappoints anyone, but there it is.
So, there is a great big Elephant in the Room, that since I've gotten quite a few asks about... needs to be addressed.. even though I'd really just like to pretend that the elephant is just a huge fresh pile of yarn waiting for a hook.
so let's finally deal with the elephant.. with a brief, but final statement...
In 2019, for the first time in a very long time, I found myself in territory I was unfamiliar with.. I have always been an extremely independant woman, who for 35 yrs (I left home when I was 16) never came to rely on anyone to do anything for me - I couldn't..
Allowing anyone (let alone a few thousand people), to see me vulnerable - not just bitching about something - but actually vulnerable, is something I had rarely (if ever) allowed before.
Since moving in 2016, my life has changed drastically and irreversably and while some of those changes were positive - a greater majority of them were not - the loss of my beloved Beastie (which I really still have not gotten over) and most importantly, the loss of my personsal security - because I gave someone else the power to provide it.
So at this point in my life, when I should be focused on retirement and enjoying the fruits of a hard (worked) life .. it's instead time to start all over again, almost completely from scratch - Basically, life was like, "Oh you had plans? How adorable".....
And that is all I truely wish to say on the matter. Dwelling on the past changes nothing - can't change what happened.. so it's just a huge waste of time to live or even visit there once you've moved past.
So if you want to hang around, we'll just have to wait it out together to see what the next few months bring... if not.. well, the blog is here when your fingers get itchy for some doodles!
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